Why Can’t I Just “Get Over It”? Understanding Trauma, Anxiety and EMDR Therapy with Sally Race

Have you ever found yourself reacting emotionally to something and then immediately getting annoyed with yourself because logically you know you’re fine?

Maybe you overthink a message.

Panic before something small.

Feel on edge for no obvious reason.

Or react strongly to something that other people seem to shrug off easily.

And then comes the classic:

“Why am I like this?”

The truth is, your brain is not trying to make your life difficult. Even if it occasionally feels like it deserves a stern talking to.

Very often, these reactions are actually your nervous system trying to protect you based on past experiences.

When the Brain Gets Stuck in Protection Mode

Normally, our brains process life experiences naturally over time. Most things get filed away correctly, like putting documents into the right folder.

But sometimes something overwhelming happens and instead of filing it neatly away, the brain basically shoves it into the emotional equivalent of the kitchen junk drawer.

Not very technical terminology, I know, but surprisingly accurate.

Even when you consciously know something is over, part of your nervous system can still react as though the danger is current and happening right now.

That can show up as:

* Anxiety

* Panic attacks

* Feeling constantly on edge

* Overreacting emotionally

* Avoiding certain situations

* Low confidence

* Feeling emotionally “stuck”

* Overthinking absolutely everything at 2am

Sometimes people worry that their experiences were “not bad enough” to affect them. But the brain doesn’t measure trauma by a points system. It responds to how overwhelmed, unsafe, unsupported or powerless you felt at the time.

So, What Actually Is EMDR?

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing. Slightly clunky name. Very effective therapy.

It’s an evidence-based approach originally developed for trauma and PTSD, but it’s now widely used for anxiety, phobias, panic attacks, low self-esteem and many other emotional difficulties too.

Unlike traditional talking therapy, EMDR is less about endlessly analysing everything and more about helping the brain properly process experiences that still feel emotionally “stuck”.

During sessions, bilateral stimulation is used. This may involve eye movements, tapping or other gentle techniques that help the brain reprocess difficult experiences more adaptively.

In simple terms, it helps the brain do the filing properly this time.

Clients often say things like:

“I can still remember it, but it doesn’t hit me in the stomach anymore.”

And that’s exactly the point.

You Don’t Have to Relive Everything

One of the biggest fears people have about therapy is:

“What if I have to talk through every awful detail?”

Thankfully, EMDR does not involve lying on a sofa while someone silently strokes their chin and asks how you feel about your mother.

You remain fully awake, aware and in control throughout.

There is no pressure to rush, no pressure to share more than you want to, and sessions are carefully paced around you.

A big part of the process is actually helping you feel emotionally safe and stable first, before any deeper work begins.

Because therapy should feel human. Not like you’re being assessed by a very polite robot.